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Thursday, December 4, 2014

The Shed and the Mennonite's

I have found that since Genny has purchased this mansion with its tray ceilings and chandlers that I still miss my old place primarily for the storage. 609 Alice had that and more in the apartment out back I turned into an exterior garage. The only thing 609 didn’t have was enough closet space to hang Genny’s summer and winter wardrobe and therefore it had to go. So Genny’s answer to this problem was for me to get a shed (to place in a spot pre-selected by her of course) where a man could place his lawn mower and tools and get them out of the garage.

So there is a place in Bessemer I often drove by on the way to Lowes that sells some nice pre built sheds and I dropped by one day to talk to the salesman. While giving his sales pitch he mentioned several times that the sheds where built by Mennonite’s. I took it from the way he said it that Mennonite’s must build a higher quality shed then your normal Baptist or Methodist but having never seen an actual Mennonite I didn’t know why. I knew they were some type of religious order but that is about it.

Well I had dressed for work and was about to head out the door to go when my phone rung. There was this strange talking man on the other end of the line that said he had my shed and would like to deliver it at 10:00am. I told the man that would be alright as it was his call but you know it has been raining a lot and all I have is hay on the backyard you may get stuck. So he says it is also going to rain tomorrow my friend so the weather is not going to get any better. If you don’t mind a few ruts in your yard I have a trailer that will pull me out.

Now when he said that my Tim the tool man kicked in (a trailer that will pull you out) and I said come on then. And that trailer truly was special folks it did everything short of making coffee which the Mennonite’s probably don’t drink anyway. But the virtues of that trailer are best told in another story.

So right at ten like the man said he would he and his family pulled into the driveway with my shed on a trailer. We did a walk thru of the area to show him how muddy and soft the ground was but he said he felt he could do it as the trailer will pull him out.

He introduced me to his family. His wife’s name was Abigail and she was dressed in long plain cloth dress and she had a little white cap on her head. No make up and the only thing modern on this woman was some tennis shoes. His sons name was Shawn and his name was Matthew. His son was dressed like any other American kid and the only thing of appearance that set Matthew apart from others was a beard on his chin like you have seen in the movies of Mormons.

However, from the time he opened that truck door it was very apparent that he was the undisputed leader of that family and therefore in charge. He had a swagger in his walking, head held high and he commenced to given orders. Abigail drive the truck; Shawn get those Concrete blocks and place them where our friend wants them.

And there was no ahh Dad do I have too, they are too heavy and the wife immediately moved over into the driver’s seat without a word. I knew at that instant that there had to be a story in this delivery. Matthew was a very soft spoken person and I watched him issue orders in a voice calm and collected in situations where I would have been cussing for sure. He walked around with this little game console thing that controlled the trailer and he would say: Extend the trailer Abigail and if the trailer didn’t immediately respond he would say do you have it in park Abigail. Eventually she would figure it out and the trailer would extend.

Matthew had by then moved on to survey the tire situation as we where quickly bogging up in the mud. Shawn get that board and place it here and Shawn without a word would do so. I tried to help his son once but he said friend the boy will do that for you. Well okay I can deal with that and he would then smile.

So long story short we played in the mud for about and hour before we finally got the shed in position and it was time to place it on blocks and level it. The area around the shed was very muddy and now had fairly large ruts which made it difficult to walk in.

Matthew was walking around the back of the shed to determine if he had the shed placed correctly when he noticed Shawn was not at his side. You here a voice, Shawn what are you doing? Nothing father. Well you are supposed to stay with me to do as I tell you to do. The son looks at his mother and they both smile and then the boy starts jumping over the mud rut’s to get at his fathers side.

Shawn having been properly instructed is placing concrete blocks under the shed and fetching boards off the truck to level the back side while Matthews walks around to the front side with his control. For the first time today I see him put down the control to the trailer and he grabs a concrete block to place under the shed. However he needs some boards to get the level right on top on the block. So while looking at the situation he says: Abigail go get me a 2 x 4 block off the truck. She looks at the ground and then at the truck and she slowly walked jumping the ruts to get his 2 by 4. She makes it back to his position and is about to hand him the 2 by 4 when he says I also need a 1 by 4 slat off the truck.

Being an old dog and having been in many situations before I sensed something was about to happen and was paying close attention. But she looked at the ground and then the truck and turned and started making her way to it without a word. But she must have been thinking as she turned around about half way and said Matthew. Yes Abigail? In a very low and kind voice with just a slight tone of tension she said to Matthew you need to tell me “everything” you need at once.

I am watching and wondering how Matthew is going to handle this and thinking I have been guilty of the same thing but with probably different logic then Matthew. You know like “While your up baby could you get me a beer” while really thinking a sandwich would be nice with the beer but I don’t want to push it as I won’t get anything so you just stick with the beer fetching.

Break: It is now about 10:30am and my Abigail is finally stirring upstairs and I need to go get another cup of coffee. So I walk up to find her walking thru the living room. I fill up my coffee and I say as I am walking down the stairs. Abbygale will you be fixing me any breakfast this morning? She stops turns and says “probably not” which of course means no. Well hell it is almost lunch time anyway I will fix me a sandwich. I need to hang with Matthew some more.

Well back to the story:

Matthew keeps his head straight not turning to look at his wife and says: You are right Abigail. A big smile comes upon her face like she has just won a major victory and she happily turns to go get the 1 x 4 slat when he says; bring me another 2x4 block with that 1 x 4 in case I need it. She brings both and hands it to him (still smiling) and he takes the 1 x 4 places it on the block and then hands her the 2 x 4 back saying I won’t be needing that 2 x 4 put it back on the truck please. I am not 100% sure but I think old Matthew was proving a point there.

So from there was fairly un-eventual and we get his truck out of the yard. Well…. his wife and son got the truck out of the yard (her driving the truck and the son placing boards down where Matthew instructed him to do so. After they are back in the drive way and the wife and son are in the truck Matthew walks over to me and we survey the completed job. He looks at my boat and says, so you take that out on the water my friend. I say yep he smiles shakes my hand and gets in the truck and drives off.

So as they were driving off I remembered a movie I had seen at one time. In it heaven was this very large processing station in which you either ended up boarding the train to heaven or being sent back as a child to try again. The idea being that some folks require more life’s then others to be prepared for the wonders of heaven. Well I am quite sure after yesterday that on that last run thru life God sends you back to live as a Mennonite man.


Bubba Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
Copyright @2008

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