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Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Night the Nuke Was Coming to Woolmarket, Ms


As I mention in one of my other Stories "My Momma gave me Issues", I grew up for the most part as a Air Force brat and my father was in the Strategic Air Command which was responsible for the plane's and nukes that were to be delivered in the event it was necessary and during the timeframe of my youth it seemed like every other day a possible reason for use by one side or the other came along.

There were so many possible events for the background of this story that the Brothers and I don't agree on which it was but the belief by my father that for sure the nukes were coming one night is the basis for the story.

My father would get a little pissed when we told this story around the fire and laughed because to him it was a very real possibility and he was doing his job to the best of his ability to protect his family. All those years in the service during the cold war trained him to believe that way. There is a good possibility that he knew that some of those times we were a lot closer to the end then any of us imagined.

There came this night where the national news had stated that the Chinese or North Koreans had captured one of our ships and the possibility of War was very likely. During this time the kids that lived home was Edie, Ren, and Tim, and I but we also had a fairly new sister in law named Wanda with a young one called L Stan. Wanda's husband Stan was away at basic training so I was the oldest boy around. I think I was around sixteen.

A few years earlier my father had sold some of his land to the Interstate 10 folks for a new highway and they had spent the last couple of years building it. To do so they had to pump in lot sand out of the river. The sand was piled up about 20 foot higher than the normal elevation and about every 100 or so feet it had a large culvert running thru the bottom of it. Remember that as it becomes important later in the story.

A few years earlier we had also built a garage with two rooms above where all the boys had a bedroom and Dad would bang on the garage door if he wanted your attention about something as we usually had some music on loud. So there came this banging on the door and you could tell there was some urgency involved in it. We say yeah and he says fall out which is military for get your rear end down here now!

We get down in the yard and he hands me a rifle and says get Wanda and L Stan out here (they lived in a trailer next to the house) we need to find a place to hide out for a while as there is going to be a war. Now before I go into this deeper I have got to give a little info on my sister in law Wanda. Wanda has and has always had the most expression in her face of anybody I have ever known. She don't have to talk, you know what she is thinking by the way she looks at you.

So I go to the trailer and bang on the door and she opens it. I say to Wanda we got to go hide out a while as Dad thinks someone is going to nuke us. I have thought about that expression that was on her face many times over the years and my interpretation of what I saw in her face was oh lord what kind of family have I married into here! But she get's L Stan and falls out into the yard with the rest of us.

We look around and Dad has gone back into the house. We are all exchanging stories on guessing what the hell is going on when Dad comes out the house with a pillow case filled with can goods and his 12 gauge shotgun. He told us what was going on and that there was a very good possibility of a nuke hitting Biloxi any moment. Biloxi was about 10 miles away and it had a large base he was sure would be targeted.

Someone ask where we going Dad and he says we are going to hide out in one of those culverts under the interstate. So we get to the culvert and he sends me in first as my job is to guard the other end of the culvert while he takes the one toward the house. He says when the nuke hits there will be a rush of people trying to find shelter and we have limited food. It may become necessary to defend our bomb shelter. So now we are all in the culvert for about 45 minutes and I am looking out over the area expecting either the enemy or the neighbors to be charging the culvert but I don't see anyone. After about an hour this becomes a little boring so I yell to the other end of the culvert "Dad I don't see anybody coming". He yells back boy that nuclear bomb drops you going to see a whole bunch people wanting this culvert!

The time limit we stayed there in that culvert that night varies depending on who you ask varies but Dad eventually figured it was safe to go back to the house as a nuke was not coming that night. I seem to remember that someone got hungry and Dad realized he left the can openers back at the house. The all clear was called and we all went back to the house.


Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
@2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011

You Do What with Them


I was about six or seven and ran out of stuff to get into one day so I snuck into my Mom and Dad's bedroom to snoop around looking thru their Chester drawers. Well I ran across this box with a big Peacock on it and opened it up. To my surprise the thing was filled with what I thought were balloons. I am thinking Mom and Dad probably hiding them in here for use at the next birthday party or something.

You know what would be fun? I need to grab some of these and make me up a bunch of water balloons to throw at the neighborhood kids. Yeah that would be fun!!! So I head to the bathroom and start filling them up one by one with water. I had a lot of fun; I had already thrown about five or six of these things and was back in the bathroom doing a re-load when my father walked in.

He said what in the heck are you doing boy? I said I am making me up some water balloons. He said those ain't balloons boy, don't you know what you do with those things? I just looked at him with a blank stare when he said "you put them on your dick". He grabs the remaining ones and leaves the bathroom.

I remember thinking long and hard about why in the hell would you put one of those things on your dick? You are going to have to take it off when you pee. Well I wear rubber boots in the snow maybe the bigger folks wear one of these on their dick to keep it from getting wet and cold. In any event it was several years down the road before this cotton top little boy figured out the real use of those things.


Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
@2011

My Momma gave me Issues



My momma gave me issues. Is there anyone left except me that remembers the Cuba Missile crisis? I remember it very well since I grew up as an Air Force Brat whose father was in the SAC. No the SAC had nothing to do with a quarterback it stood for the Strategic Air Command. The SAC was the boys and gals that carried the big boys (nuclear bombs) during the cold war.

During the timeframe of the Cuban Missile crisis and into John Kennedy being killed we lived on an Air Force Base called Bunker Hill in Indiana. Those were the days where they had us school kids practice for the big one dropping by getting under our school desk. When the crisis came along I don't remember much of what lead up to it but I remember the results.

My father disappeared and 24/7 you could hear the bombers circling the base, taking off and landing. The first order of the day was to restrict all the "dependents" to their quarters so they could find them quick if they needed to. Well as it turned out the possible end of the world and a few rules was not enough to keep the wives from getting together for a card game and discussion about the events.

So I come out of my room and walking thru the living room when I hear my sweet momma say, "You know Henry and I lived in Japan right after the war and there was a lot of talk about the Koreans invading. But I can tell you what, before I let them Russians get my babies I will kill them in their sleep. "

To say the least when I heard kill and babies my hearing perked up. I remember thinking damn Mom, I know I am a little boy but give me a butter knife or something and let me fight them till I die. Let me go down like John Wayne!!!!  You going to kill me in my sleep? That was the beginning of my many issues. That is where I lost the will to sleep a lot and the desire to have a great time while awake. After all the Russians could still come any minute. Hey you got to blame it on something right?

Art Nalley

Redneck Heritage Network
@2011



Saturday, January 8, 2011

Don't Take the Chance of Adding to the List

Advice to the Young clip 1


Back in 2003, my Niece (Abby) was getting married to a young man named Wes and I had just finished up a divorce and didn’t have a lot of money left for gifts. So her father suggested I make them an Advice Video Tape instead. I found it kind of humorous thinking about a recently divorced man giving advice to newlyweds so I took on the challenge. The idea for the tape was to get it there in time for it to be played at the rehearsal dinner. Don’t know that it was played or not.

The first clip is about learning what it is that makes your new bride pissed (since most often they won’t tell you) and insuring you don’t mistakenly add to that list. A short clip of the tape is attached to this message. Hope you enjoy.


Art Nalley

Redneck Heritage Network

@2011

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Tarzan/Ren/Titty Babies and the Tree Adventure


Although little brother is about fifty now I still call him little brother. He is the fifth of five boys. Yep five boys and you can imagine a lot of activity around the Nalley house with them ranging in age from Teenager to Titty Baby. What is a Titty baby? Well in boy (young man terms) that is a no account young un that can't hang with the big boys or do big boy things. It was the ultimate insult when used. My grandfather Daddy Buck use to use it when you would act up to let you know you were not ready for manhood yet. Why you are just a little Titty baby get on out of here! You need to go in with the women folks. Titty Baby!

That being said the ultimate goal in life at that time was to be considered a big boy and Ren just happen to be the youngest and the smallest of a long line of boys. Therefore he stayed a Titty Baby longer as he had no replacement coming along to take his place. While it may mean one less pork chop to go around the table it was nice when you had a little brother come along that you could turn to and say, get away from me you are just a titty baby!

So we lived out in the country on twenty acres of land with about another 60 behind that was open range. I was about 13 years old, my friend Beryl was also 13 and the brother just younger than me (Tim) was around 11 and we had the summer off from school. I think Ren was around 6 or 7. We would entertain ourselves by either watching a movie on TV or playing in the woods and building forts. Forts were sacred places much like an adult man cave in the house. It was a place where you could discuss the important things in life like young women; you could chew tobacco or even smoke a cigarette from time to time. The last thing you wanted around during any of these activities was a titty baby and especially Ren. Ren could keep no secrets and he is still not too good at it today. We called him the mouth of the south cause if he heard or saw it Mom and Dad would soon know about it also. That kind of stuff can lead to spankings.

So we would build a fort that summer and Ren would find it and jump out of the bushes yelling I found your fort, I found your fort….ha ha, I found your fort. He was a royal pain and we would then run him off and go look for another location. We would build another fort and a week later up he would come with another I found your fort business.

Well we had moved to about four locations when he popped up one day and it got on our last nerve. This rebuilding forts is getting old and we have to do something to highly discourage him from this action again.

So what to do, what to do? Well it just so happened that all of us had stayed up late the night before watching a Tarzan movie. We remembered a few scenes in it about what the African Natives had done to some explorers that crossed the line into their territory. They captured them and then a bunch of them pulled down the tops of some big old tress. They tied (one by one) the invaders arms and legs to each of the two trees and then let em go. They didn't actually show them splitting but I remember hearing those screams as they went into the air and the ropes got tighter and they were split into.

So Beryl, Tim and I look around and we have rope and plenty of trees. Hey Tim , go get him and Tim went out and ran him down and brought him back. Now even thou Beryl was only 13 he was big ole boy and probably weighted around 200 then. We picked out a few pine trees that would do and up Beryl would go till he got to the top then he would hold on and let his weight pull the tree down. We would then tie off the top of the tree to another tree to keep it bent and Beryl went up another. 2nd tree secured now time to tie up the victim.

WE tie one leg and one arm of Ren to each tree per the instructional video shown the night before on Tarzan. As we tied the last leg of Ren up he said I am going to tell Mom and Dad about this! I said hey Titty Baby there ain't going to be enough of you left to tell anyone anything!

Back then it was the custom that you do everything on the count of three so the drum roll began. ONE! At one Ren closed his eyes tightly as he knew this was not a good situation. You see he had seen that Tarzan movie also! At the two count he looked as if he had found religion and was now praying hard. On the count of three we untied the ropes holding the trees down and up Ren and the Trees go.

Is Ren a past brother? Naw he is still around and still the mouth of the south. You see we didn't have enough natives to pull down big tree's so we had tied him up to two pine trees about 14 feet tall. They were not big enough to do the job. However, Ren was about 4 feet in the air and spread eagle with his eyes still closed tightly. He eventually opened his eyes and was very surprised and happy that he was still alive. He then began to get cocky and started mouthing off again. I am alive, I am alive, and I am going to tell Mom and Dad. Well Duh? Hey titty baby you are still 4 feet in the air spread eagle and tied securely I think it is a little premature to get cocky on us. So we left him tied up to become a little humble.

About every half hour one of us would walk over and ask him if he still planned on telling Mom and Dad. Well as I recall it took about two hours to get him to swear several oaths that he would not and we untied him and sent him back home with his lesson learned.

I don't remember getting a spanking out of this so one of the several oaths must have worked.


Art Nalley
@2011
Redneck Heritage Network




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwHWbsvgQUE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwHWbsvgQUE&feature=related