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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Tarzan/Ren/Titty Babies and the Tree Adventure

Although little brother is about fifty now I still call him little brother. He is the fifth of five boys. Yep five boys and you can imagine a lot of activity around the Nalley house with them ranging in age from Teenager to Titty Baby. What is a Titty baby? Well in boy (young man terms) that is a no account young un that can't hang with the big boys or do big boy things. It was the ultimate insult when used. My grandfather Daddy Buck use to use it when you would act up to let you know you were not ready for manhood yet. Why you are just a little Titty baby get on out of here! You need to go in with the women folks. Titty Baby!

That being said the ultimate goal in life at that time was to be considered a big boy and Ren just happen to be the youngest and the smallest of a long line of boys. Therefore he stayed a Titty Baby longer as he had no replacement coming along to take his place. While it may mean one less pork chop to go around the table it was nice when you had a little brother come along that you could turn to and say, get away from me you are just a titty baby!

So we lived out in the country on twenty acres of land with about another 60 behind that was open range. I was about 13 years old, my friend Beryl was also 13 and the brother just younger than me (Tim) was around 11 and we had the summer off from school. I think Ren was around 6 or 7. We would entertain ourselves by either watching a movie on TV or playing in the woods and building forts. Forts were sacred places much like an adult man cave in the house. It was a place where you could discuss the important things in life like young women; you could chew tobacco or even smoke a cigarette from time to time. The last thing you wanted around during any of these activities was a titty baby and especially Ren. Ren could keep no secrets and he is still not too good at it today. We called him the mouth of the south cause if he heard or saw it Mom and Dad would soon know about it also. That kind of stuff can lead to spankings.

So we would build a fort that summer and Ren would find it and jump out of the bushes yelling I found your fort, I found your fort….ha ha, I found your fort. He was a royal pain and we would then run him off and go look for another location. We would build another fort and a week later up he would come with another I found your fort business.

Well we had moved to about four locations when he popped up one day and it got on our last nerve. This rebuilding forts is getting old and we have to do something to highly discourage him from this action again.

So what to do, what to do? Well it just so happened that all of us had stayed up late the night before watching a Tarzan movie. We remembered a few scenes in it about what the African Natives had done to some explorers that crossed the line into their territory. They captured them and then a bunch of them pulled down the tops of some big old tress. They tied (one by one) the invaders arms and legs to each of the two trees and then let em go. They didn't actually show them splitting but I remember hearing those screams as they went into the air and the ropes got tighter and they were split into.

So Beryl, Tim and I look around and we have rope and plenty of trees. Hey Tim , go get him and Tim went out and ran him down and brought him back. Now even thou Beryl was only 13 he was big ole boy and probably weighted around 200 then. We picked out a few pine trees that would do and up Beryl would go till he got to the top then he would hold on and let his weight pull the tree down. We would then tie off the top of the tree to another tree to keep it bent and Beryl went up another. 2nd tree secured now time to tie up the victim.

WE tie one leg and one arm of Ren to each tree per the instructional video shown the night before on Tarzan. As we tied the last leg of Ren up he said I am going to tell Mom and Dad about this! I said hey Titty Baby there ain't going to be enough of you left to tell anyone anything!

Back then it was the custom that you do everything on the count of three so the drum roll began. ONE! At one Ren closed his eyes tightly as he knew this was not a good situation. You see he had seen that Tarzan movie also! At the two count he looked as if he had found religion and was now praying hard. On the count of three we untied the ropes holding the trees down and up Ren and the Trees go.

Is Ren a past brother? Naw he is still around and still the mouth of the south. You see we didn't have enough natives to pull down big tree's so we had tied him up to two pine trees about 14 feet tall. They were not big enough to do the job. However, Ren was about 4 feet in the air and spread eagle with his eyes still closed tightly. He eventually opened his eyes and was very surprised and happy that he was still alive. He then began to get cocky and started mouthing off again. I am alive, I am alive, and I am going to tell Mom and Dad. Well Duh? Hey titty baby you are still 4 feet in the air spread eagle and tied securely I think it is a little premature to get cocky on us. So we left him tied up to become a little humble.

About every half hour one of us would walk over and ask him if he still planned on telling Mom and Dad. Well as I recall it took about two hours to get him to swear several oaths that he would not and we untied him and sent him back home with his lesson learned.

I don't remember getting a spanking out of this so one of the several oaths must have worked.

Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
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