You Do What with Them

I was about six or seven and ran out of stuff to get into one day so I snuck into my Mom and Dad's bedroom to snoop around looking thru their Chester drawers. Well I ran across this box with a big Peacock on it and opened it up. To my surprise the thing was filled with what I thought were balloons. I am thinking Mom and Dad probably hiding them in here for use at the next birthday party or something.

You know what would be fun? I need to grab some of these and make me up a bunch of water balloons to throw at the neighborhood kids. Yeah that would be fun!!! So I head to the bathroom and start filling them up one by one with water. I had a lot of fun; I had already thrown about five or six of these things and was back in the bathroom doing a re-load when my father walked in.

He said what in the heck are you doing boy? I said I am making me up some water balloons. He said those ain't balloons boy, don't you know what you do with those things? I just looked at him with a blank stare when he said "you put them on your dick". He grabs the remaining ones and leaves the bathroom.

I remember thinking long and hard about why in the hell would you put one of those things on your dick? You are going to have to take it off when you pee. Well I wear rubber boots in the snow maybe the bigger folks wear one of these on their dick to keep it from getting wet and cold. In any event it was several years down the road before this cotton top little boy figured out the real use of those things.


Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
@2011