Hey to you my Chinese Friends

As part of the Google Blogger feature you can look at Statistic's of how many people have read your blog by day, week, month, or forever. However their forever only goes back about a year. One feature I like is that you can see from what country your audience is reading you from. This is a proud moment for me as Bubba has folks from China reading his blog. Which from everything I read would be hard to do without the Official Chinese government giving me approved status. Guess they feel I pose no threat to them and I don't, I like Chinese folks. However some of what you have heard about us is true, we are capitalist and love money. There is a reason for that and it is that our women love spending it and if your woman is happy then Bubba is happy.

Wonder how Bubba reads in Chinese that would be interesting. He says he rides on hay to kiss women I thought all Americans had cars? Let's see there are 1.3 Billion Chinese and if I opened up a PayPal account and asked for a donation after you read each post and let's say the average donation is 1 dollar Bubba could do fairly decent. I am reaching out to you my Chinese friends as my overhead is kind of high. I usually have to get about a six pack in before the words really start to flow. My woman is fairly high maintenance also. Drop a line from time to time and let me know what you would like to know about Bubba and America and I will do my best to respond.

Is She Ready Yet

Old Art has been going through writers block lately. I have a lot of new ideas for story lines but by time I get to the computer the story line seems to disappear. It may be the beginning of All Timers. Anyway a lady posted a message yesterday asking "moms" what is the right age for my daughter to start dating? She was given many options (never, 16, 17) but the majority qualified each answer depending upon their maturity. I negotiated contracts for the Veterans Administration for 30 years and always found it interesting the number of different ways people define the same word so I like to provide the definition I will be using which is: Maturity (psychological), a term in developmental psychology to indicate that a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner. Now the problem is that there usually is a lapse of several years between Sexual Maturity and Psychological Maturity : Sexual maturity, the stage when an organism can reproduce, though it is distinct from adulthood.

I had a very active sex life as a teenager and God blessed me with two girls to raise as a result of it. Sometimes I could hear him laughing! And no I didn't get their mother pregnant as a teenager. Let me back up I did she was 19. I was one of the lucky ones; I beat the statistics which was completing high school back then but today the requirements to be successful are much higher. As a mother of a young boy or girl remember two words as they are your friend and they are statistics and goals.

There are many paths that take you to the same designation but some take a lot longer and are a lot harder to achieve. Start early with your child talking about his/her goals in life. Remember it is their goals and not yours. Oh so you would like to be a lawyer, well lets research this and see what all is involved so that we can make sure you are properly prepared to meet your goal. Young adults are motivated by goals. Example: You want to borrow the car clean your room, etc., So back to the subject, so you want to be a lawyer, well what are the things that could stop or dramatically slow your progress toward reaching that goal. One big one is getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. I didn't have boys so I didn't have to worry about the boys problems but the same logic works for both.

The very first thing you have to do as a parent is put this in prospective. I would ask the mother who ask how old should my daughter should be, how old where you? What did you learn during the experience, what mistakes you made, what advice your parents gave worked and what didn't? Have you shared your early life with your daughter?

Most of us whether we will admit it or not were super charged and it is only natural as we (both sexes) have so many changes going on in our mind and body we don't fully understand we just knew that we were driven to explore new experiences. Some act upon it and some delay it but as sure as the sun is going to rise, your baby girl is going to experience it. Help her understand what she is going thru and that it is natural. I use to tell my girls stuff like: You know when a boy that age tells you he loves you he really means he would love to. You do understand the difference don't you? Yes Daddy I do.

When I think back to my teenager years the things that really stuck in my head was the things other people in my peer group was experiencing more then what my parents said. I didn't think my parents had a clue till I was about twenty eight or so. For example drugs where a very big thing when I was growing up and the thing that kept me out of it was watching an older friend that was heavily into it and seeing what he went thru. In one of my other blog stories (Drivers License and My First Real Date) I talk about a young lady I went out with who's older sister got pregnant and about how she was not going to let me close to anything that may cause her to get in the same situation. In thinking back it is because she had lived it. She saw what her older sister went thru, her father and her mother the family unit. No the boy didn't marry her sister and live happily ever after and statistics show the majority don't. They also show that if they do get married the percentages are high that it will not last. That's the facts Jack and they don't need necessarily to hear it from you it is on the web. But I don't see any harm in printing out a little reading material from time to time and place it on her pillow. About.com is a good site for this, doesn't go pro or con just states the facts.

http://marriage.about.com/cs/teenmarriage/a/teenmarriage.htm

So if that girl down the street gets pregnant should you talk poorly of her or talk about her parents not properly raising her? No, what you should do is make sure she becomes your daughter's best friend. They will talk about (without you) the dreams that girl had that are on hold, what it is like to wake up several times a night to feed a child, etc., and how that boy all of sudden is saying things like that isn't my kid to all her class mates. As I said earlier he didn't love her he loved to. Maybe more then you ask for but if you are asking about dating you are asking for reasons that fall somewhere along these lines. You have some fun years ahead of you! Well any way the writer's block is gone and I feel better. I hope ya'll do too. Bubba is going to get back to comedy as this heavy stuff gives me headaches and flashbacks.


Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
Copyright@2010





 

The French Kiss in Woolmarket MS

I was still going what we called going steady with Sheila (8th grade) when I got invited to a hayride at the local Methodist church. The Reverend was a 19-year-old named Brother Charles. Sheila came from one of the most prominate families in Woolmarket. She had a pool in her front yard.

When we got started, I looked around and there were at least 3 women (girls) to every boy. I didn’t think too much about it, because I was going to get to kiss Sheila. But during the night, I found out those women hang together and sometimes it can work to a young mans advantage. Sheila soon felt like the wife on Little Big Man (I think her name was Sunshine) and felt she should share her man with the rest of the girls, sitting around with no one.

So she sent me on a mission. First up was Terri, the older woman. She was in the 10th grade. She was eating chocolate malt balls. Kissed on Terri about 20 minutes and she would let you brush beside some new territory every once in while. Next was Brenda…also an older woman…. Brenda was a cousin of Sheila. Then on to Susan, the local hotty…Stayed with Susan till Sheila moved down and we moved back to our normal spot.

Sheila and I made out for about another 30 minutes when she noticed that no one had approached Cheryl. She was sitting at the back of the trailer and no one had kissed her. Cheryl was skinny as a rail and when Sheila suggested I go kiss her, I was not all that excited about it! I think Cheryl heard part of the discussion and was somewhat embarrassed when I agreed to do my duty for God and Country. She told me, you don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to. I said I want to.

When we kissed she did something strange; she opened my lips and stuck her tongue down my throat. I thought …hmm this is different and did the same thing back. We kissed for about 10 minutes and then I went back to Sheila. I stayed with Sheila for the rest of the night.

Two days later, I get a call from Sheila and she is mad as hell that I didn’t tell her that I knew how to FRENCH KISS. I said what the heck is French kissing? She said don’t play innocent with me, you know what it is? I said, no I don’t. She said it is where you stick your tongue down your girlfriend’s throat….I said; oh that is what that was. Those French folks know how to do it right!


Side Note: Saw that skinny little girl (Cheryl) about 20 years later at a school reunion and she was drop dead gorgeous. Wish I had French kissed her some more.

For God, Country and those Woolmarket Girls that trained Me

Woolmrket was a very good place to grow up. But we became toooo much like family. By the time we got into serious dating, the Woolmarket girls knew all of us like a book. They knew your next move before you could make it, and don’t ever make the mistake of calling one for a date to find out she was busy and then calling another. What am I …. Second choice…you just called Nina twenty minutes ago….dial tone.

So after about the 9th grade we started dating girls outside the community. You were also more likely to score that way since they didn’t have to worry about you going to their school Monday morning and telling everybody. One thing, I never did….If asked I would just smile and say…I don’t know man go ask her. I think this was a major factor in being so popular in High School. The girls could always trust me. Many of them came to me with their boy problems for me to solve. And I always gave very good advice. And you know what…my advice worked for everybody but me. I would have a similar situation, know what and how I should handle it, but couldn’t.

I once had a girl make a special request of me. Her boy friend was taking her for granted and she wanted me to put a hickey on her to make him jealous. She brought her girlfriend with her to ask me since she wanted to insure safety…That devil Art, you never know??? Well I thought about it and I wasn’t quite sure it was the best move for her. I tried to give her other suggestions that would probably work as well but both she and her girlfriend were insistent that her way was the way to bring him around.

At this point I felt a little used. So I started thinking, what she got in trade;;;;;;; Well it didn’t take long to come up with it. She just happened to have the biggest set of tits in D’Iberville. I said with her girlfriend in the front seat, I will give you a hickey on the neck, but if you really want to scare him into shape, you have got to have a couple on those tits as well. She thought about it a minute but her girlfriend Lori was shaking her head in agreement. We drove off from my house and went up a dirt road. Lori was still with us as she was driving. Well all I am going to say at this point, is I did her proud. For God, country and those Woolmarket girls that trained me.


Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
@2004

Timothy Jay Jay Stonewall Pecker Head Nalley

Timothy Jay is my younger brother, but just by a little bit. I’m a little surprised he even likes me as I dealt out punishment on a daily basis as he was growing up. It is I suppose understandable as Tim always made excellent grades in school and so did Stan. Here I am caught between two A students and can’t whip but one. So guess whom I pick on? Timothy Jay Jay Stonewall Pecker Head Nalley. Not sure who gave him that whole name but I am going to take credit for it since ain’t no body else writing lately.

I have many stories on Tim but plan to do just one tonight. The drive to excel was always very strong in Tim and it got to a point where he felt a 97 was not good enough. So one day in the fifth grade on a semester test he was not sure about a true and false question. Now me being the gambler I figure 50% chance, but not good enough for Tim. He wants to see that 100. So like a Pecker Head he tries to look at the book to get the answer and the teacher catches him. He got an F on a semester test. Hot damn the pressure is off of me. I would have died for a 97 and he wants 100. Needless to say…..he made me proud!


Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
@2004

Grits Kill and Instant Grits Kills Instantly

Starting to get the garden ready, suppose to plant next week so at the outer edge of the garden was a very big ant pile that had been made over winter. I had heard one time that grits will kill ants and was curious as to if it would work, so I poked a few holes in the pile and the ants just came pouring out.

I went in the house and found a packet of instant grits and tore it open. There must have been a thousand ants on top of the pile when I tore it open and poured in on. I watched the ants slide down the grits and the worker ants carry little pieces down into the ant pile holes I had made. Went out this morning and no matter how much I poke the ant pile none come out. The ant’s are either dead or moved on to a higher-class neighborhood.

I hear that they take it in to hole and eat it. Grits expand and it kills them internally. I went to the garage and found some high profile ant killer I purchased last year. The cost of it was still on the bag, $7.67. I went inside and looked on the box of grits for a price. One dollar and thirteen cents for 10 bags of instant grits. I only used one bag.

I am feeling a little bad for the ants tonight as I know how it feels to be highly compacted.

Ya’ll have a good one you hear.


Art Nalley
Redneck Heritage Network
@2005